The Lost Diaries Of Bella Swan
by CullenzGurl
Summary: Bella's secret journals throught the whole story.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One.

Dear Diary,

Hey it's been awhile huh but I am going through some major stuff right now and could do with a friend. Ok so today was my last day in Phoenix, my last day with the sun and my last day with my mom. God I hope she will be ok I worry about her so much.  
Right now I'm on the plane heading for Forks I cant tell you how much that fills me with dread. The awful weather teamed with serious alone time with Charlie is scaring me to death. What am I going to find to talk about with him? I mean during every summer he's spent with me we both found it hard maintaining a conversation, what's it going to be like living with him?  
Oh god and I had the worst time at check out. I have brought with me one bag and a cactus which got me some seriously weird looks. I guess I brought the cactus as a symbol of all I have left behind…the sun and desert. I loved Phoenix so much god I wish I was there now. This stupid plane stinks and the guy sat next to me is annoying.  
To make matters worse I have just found out Charlie has enrolled me into a new school…great! I'll have to start all over again and I probably wont make any friends. They've already formed their little cliques and I'll be the outsider. I should have been born blonde and tanned with blue eyes maybe then people would take notice of me. Instead I got average hair and looks could my life suck any more?  
The captains just announced we will shortly be in Port Angeles maybe I should start thinking of things to talk about on the way down to Forks in the police cruiser of all things. There goes my hope of being unnoticed. Anyway I guess I will leave it here for now and write more later.

Bella.

It's 12.43am right now and I cant sleep. The rain is beating down so hard it's deafening. I hate the rain!!! The drive here was as bad as I thought we hardly spoke at all.  
One of the good things to come out of today was Charlie got me a car, well it's a truck really but I really like it it's cool. I also got to meet Jacob Black he's my age and lives down on the reservation at La Push. His dad is Billy who Charlie kept trying to remind me that I knew but I just couldn't remember the guy.  
This town is too quiet there's not a sound. I miss the traffic and people. It feels like I'm all alone here, well I guess I am in a way.  
There's something else keeping me awake…school. I start in the morning and my stomach is doing insane back flips every time I think about it. I guess I really should try and get some sleep it's gonna be a long day tomorrow.

Bella.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two.

Dear Diary,

So today was my first day of school and hopefully my last. I'd rather die than go back! It started off ok I met a couple of people and they seemed pretty nice I got to have lunch with them too. That's when it went horribly wrong.  
I noticed some other kids come into the cafeteria and asked who they were. One of the girls Jessica told me they were called the Cullens. God they were so good looking, then one of them really caught my attention she told me his name was Edward. Maybe I looked awful or really stood out but the whole time he kept looking at me. Ok so I was looking at him but still.  
Then I had biology and had to sit next to him I was gonna say hi but he completely ignored me. It was like I had the plague or something. He sat there balanced on the edge of his seat like I smelt bad or he would catch something. I wanted to punch him and his gorgeous face. Ok so he was kinda handsome and maybe he thought I was beneath him but did he have to act that way? couldn't he just have said something out of politeness?  
Oh and I got a call from my mom asking me how everything was going. I hate lying to her but if I had said how bad it was and how I had nearly cried I knew she would be straight here to come and get me. I couldn't do that to her, she and Phil needed time alone together. I liked Phil I just hope they last, they're complete opposites.  
Anyway back to school Edward Cullen is mean, mean, mean I went to the office to hand my forms back in and he was in there trying to switch lessons surely I cant be the problem? The guy doesn't even know me. Well maybe I don't want to know him either. Oh god I'm gonna cry again…I couldn't stop blushing all day and it's all his fault!!!  
I hate being so awkward with guys I wish I could just walk up to them and say hi without going bright red. All I have done is cry since I got to this god awful place. I want to go home, I want my mom. I hate Forks along with Edward Cullen! They can all go to hell for all I care. I am glad Charlie doesn't realise how unhappy I am it would upset him and another depressed person is the last thing I need.  
Ok right I need to solve this whole Edward thing before it gets out of hand. So tomorrow I will walk right up to him and demand to know what his problem is. At least one way or another I will find out why he hates me. Jeez my first day nerves have been replaced with confrontation nerves, I hate arguments. I try to do all I can to avoid them.  
Oh I almost forgot to make matters even worse I had gym class (Edward wasn't there.) and I suck at anything physical but they wouldn't listen and in the end I hit this guy Mike Newton in the head with a ball! He was real polite about the whole thing but I bet inside he was cursing me. I'm making enemies left right and centre here without trying. Maybe subconsciously I was going for a world record in how many people I could alienate myself from. Whoever invented school should be shot…no questions just shot! I'm feeling a little sleepy right now so I guess I'm going to bed.

**Bella.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three.**

Dear Diary,

I waited for HIM (aka Edward Cullen) to get to school and he never showed up. I saw his family but there was no sign of him at all.  
I was so angry I had been practising my speech all morning in my head and it sounded pretty good too. Now I am going to worry all night and have to start over again in the morning.  
I had loads of emails from mom she was beginning to worry why I hadn't got back and threatened to get in touch with Charlie if I didn't answer. I sent her a quick message back saying everything was ok. I didn't want to tell her about Edward…there was nothing to tell anyway.  
He wasn't there all day where had he disappeared to? I'm hoping and praying it isn't my fault otherwise if it is I will have to change schools and quite possibly my name.  
Mike and chess club Eric are being weird too following me around everywhere I go it's getting annoying. Jessica said it was because I was new and a novelty I think she maybe jealous. She has such an obvious thing for Mike Newton I cant understand why he doesn't see it.  
I think she used to have a thing for Edward too but I guess he had snubbed her. Maybe that's what he did, found out a girl likes him and ignored her. God its not kindergarten he should grow up!  
Not that I cared if he liked me I didn't like him anyway. And why was he so pale? His skin was snow white and his eyes were black it was eerily beautiful. You could drown in those eyes even though they scared me.  
All yesterday it seemed like he was trying to scare me on purpose. He has nice lips, not that I care what his lips look like or any other part of him. Stupid Edward Cullen! …why doesn't he like me?

**Bella**


End file.
